You could say that "THE PRISON WIFE," basically has no rights. Her husband no longer belongs to her.........he has a number, and is identified by that........it is written on his clothes, his mail....everywhere. It seems as if he has no name. Therefore, he belongs to the state or country. And you, as a prisoners wife, are no one, too. You ,basically, in this country, as far as I can see, are "no one." Please feel free to correct me. Let me know if you have found any organizations, etc. that promote the "Rights of Prison Wives....and other loved ones." The 3 years of my husband being within the prison system, is actually minimal, compared to husbands who are locked away for 15, 20, or more years. I don't know how you women do it, waiting for them. However, what I have seen and heard, is a lot of scared and frightened women. Afraid to say anything, because their hubands will be retaliated on. Isn't it time that something is done within the USA, to change all that? I know, for myself, that I am a person. I am a "human being," and not to be treated like something less than an animal. I also know that I am a citizen of the greatest countries of the USA, and I do have rights. Let us go a little further. Let us now begin to explore just what I am talking about. Let us now see how things "should be. "THE RIGHTS OF PRISON WIVES". 1. The Prisoner's wife should be notified via mail or phone, by the state/federal prison when her husband is put in prison. She should be told the name of the place he is in, and the location. 2. The prisoner's wife should be notified "BY THE INSTITUTION" he is in, as to when she can start visiting him. 3. The prisoner's wife should be notified, "BY THE INSTITUTION" about the usage of telephones. She should be given telephone numbers as to who to call if the phones are blocked and not working properly. 4. The Prison Wife should be sent in the mail a list of "VISITING RULES," for that particular institution. 5. "THE VISITING RULES,"should include: Visiting hours, Dress Code for the visitor (Can I wear jewelry? Sleeves, or sleeveless? wire or no- wire bras? MOST WOMEN I MET ON LINE TO THE PRISON, BROUGHT SEVERAL CHANGES OF CLOTHING, THEY KEPT WITHIN THEIR CARS. PRISON GUARDS WOULD CONTINUALLY REFUSE THE WOMAN ENTRANCE. AND YES, UNBELIEVABLY, THE WOMEN WERE CHANGING THEIR CLOTHING STANDING UP IN THE PARKING LOT...OUTSIDE, IN PUBLIC...6. List of things you can bring, and no bring with you to the prison. For example, are purses and handbags allowed? 7. Type of I.D. required. 8. Directions and maps should be sent to the prisoner's wife, as to how to get to the prison. Is there any public transportation to get there? 9. Phone numbers of the prison, administrators. Who to call if there is a problem, or a complaint. 10. What will happen when you get to the prison...Includes registration, having your husbands state number with you. Will I be searched.my handbag searched..metal detectors? 11. what kind of room will my visit be in...can i touch my husband? No one ever explained that to me. I was continually walking over a painted line on the floor. people would constantly yell at me not to do that. I still don't quite know what they were talking about! 12. what can I bring to my husband in the prison? Food? Drink? Is there foodon the premises? What about Diabetics? they need to carry food and drink with them at all times, and not junk food from vending machines. Also, it is their right to carry diabetic testing equipment/insulin at all times. 13. Will there be clean, usable bathrooms when I get to the prison. Will I have to beg for them to unlock the bathroom. And will i have to use a dark, dirty, unsanitary outhouse, which must be around 100 years old, and never been cleaned. IF YOU DON'T EXPLAIN IT TO ME IN WORDS OR WRITING, I CAN'T KNOW ABOUT IT. I CAN'T READ THE MINDS OF THE PRISON. I APOLOGIZE, I'VE NEVER GONE TO VISIT SOMEONE IN A PRIISON BEFORE, AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT. SIMPLY STATED. These are a few things I thought of at the top of my head! I BET YOU CAN THINK OF A LOT MORE THINGS TO ADD TO THE LIST. I feel these are basic needs of the "PRISON WIFE." To be treated with respect. Please let me know what you think!...Fran
15 comments:
I would think somewhere that those sort of questions would be answered. I am surprised that they don't give a website or a operator to call or something...
hello cryastal,,iam so glad i came across you jounel,this is the frist time on this for me,last night i wrote a long letter to you,and right in the middle of it ,i was taken away to something,so i saved it,and saved it in my documents,well needless to say,i lost it,so this one wont be as good,cause iam rushing,for i amallso a prison widow,and we always have so much time on our hands to do any thing we want,(not).L.O.L.of caurce all we have to do is,do every thing that they used to do,every thing they want done,now,every thing we,need,and want to do,not counting the daily writing to the man i love,and all the poems,and things i look up for him,and things to keep him updated on every thing,not counting the reading of his beautiful letters,no one know just how long it takes to write a letter ,never mind read them,and helping the kids read them and wright them,and the family and friends who just seem to disapear,when we need them the most,and the not understanding how much we love our men,and how its not as easy as they think to just give up on them,would they do that if it was cancer he had? well i dont know,but i do know that no one is perfect,and no one lives in glass homes,and if they loved us so mush ,they would understand that what we are doing is because we want to,cause they make us happy,so now the things i use
Dearest crystal,,iam thanking you again for your caring and devotion,this is who we are and what we believe,how dare anyone think they could ever change the way we feel,,my husband robert,has only one number that is important to me and him,that is number ONE,he will always be my number one,he is not violent,or did he murder,mame steal,or lie,but this system says you say what we want and you dont have to do 20 years,even though your not guielty.but we dont want to pay for lawers,jureys and police,so be peaseful and we will be easy on you,your guity,and we wont let you prove differnt,,but if i had 10 thousand dollars,you can go home,just because they say you did,,you did,someone said that i damaged there car while they sat in it,what you did not come out to tell me to stop,i was not even in area,i just got out of hospital,but because she said i did it,even though she droped the charges,cause she knew it was a lie,i had to pay 15 hundred bucks to have a P.D,right not guilty on a paper,day out of work,stressed out,this was a sick women trying to hurt me,and no one would help,well thats justice,look our presdent is a crimial,he kills but hes free...
Hello Fran,
I too am a prisoners wife. Been married since 4/28/04, but have been in love for 7 years. I met my husband Larnell while he was incarcerated. We were married in the facility he is being held hostage at. My problem is we are not being allowed a conjugal visit, because he is being accused of having dirty urine. They never tested him, he told them to hold on a minute while he was moving his bowel and the corruption officer said, "fuck you" and slamed the gate and kept moving. He was written up for rufusing a urine test when that wasn't even the case. So I know first had what being mistreated by the Department of Corruptions is all about. I feel your pain.
God Bless You and Your family
Sincerely
Mrs Hendricks
It's so great that you are sharing this journal with other wives of those in the prison system, and it is also educational to those who might be planning a visit for the first time.
Come visit my journal sometime:
http://journals.aol.com/Ccancu/CEEGEEATLARGE
Dear Fran,
I too am a Prisoners Wife, I feel exactly like you do. I didn't know anything about visiting my husband. I had never been to a prison before in my life. When I got there they treated me like crap. Like I was dirt, trash that didn't need to be noticed. I was told to sit in a chair until they feel like checking me in for a visit that I drive 2 1/2 hours to. I could sit there for 10 minutes to and hour waiting for them to decide to start checking people in. Even though the visits are supposed to start at 8:00 we might not get back in the visiting room until 9 or 9:30. It doesn't bother them because they have all day to just sit on there butts doing nothing but acting as if they have some type of power over us! I too take clothes in my vehicle because the rules change so much you never know what you can and can't wear. It all depends on which Correction Officer is working that day and if they wake up on the right side of the bed. I should say there are a few CO's that do treat you good after they realize that you aren't going to try to get by with anything. It takes months for that to happen though. I also like how they don't give you visiting rules and they are posted inside the visiting area. You can't read them until you have been approved to go in for the visit. THAT MAKES SENCE! I am just thankful I only have 46 more days until my husband comes home. Hopefully yours will be home soon!
Thanks for the chance to be heard
Melissa, OHIO
Dear Fran Yeah you are right,ouer Husbands don't belong to us anymore,my Husband is in Prison how long I don't know I mean he got 5 year's.But his Lawyer filled shock,so all we can do is wait.What I don't get they are only to make collect call's that is not right,it cost's 5.5o for 15 minutes and MCI don't no Money for these call's.My Husband has Cancer,I hope he get's Medicall,he is in the Fishtank right now.They didn't let me know when they send him.Nothing,where he is now they haven't send me anything yet,when I can see him or what I can bring or nothing at all;He said it will be 6 week's before I can come to visit.I don't know if I have to fill out the Paper work or him.Yeah all this is not right,It make's it hard on us,not knowing anything.Even the Lawyer won't say anything,they say I call you Tomorrow,it never happens.I wish there was something someone could do about all this.We don't have no right acording to them,we are Prisoner's like ouer Husband's and that is not right.I'm totally with you .
My man is in prison. He is there because he was a thief and deserves to be punished. The tone of your post seems to suggest that the Department of Corrections "owes" you. I beg to differ. Your husband was tried and convicted of a crime. He is now being punished. The state, the Dept. of Corrections owes you NOTHING. Since your husband has put you in the position of being a "prison wife", you too will have to bear the "inconvenience" of prison. Most, if not all, prisons have there own websites which clearly spell out all their rules & regulations, along with frequently asked questions. If you are able to navigate AOL and create your own whineblog, you can easily find answers to all your questions. Perhaps you could also get proactive and assist in your hubby's rehabilitation so you don't have to "suffer" through this mess again. Sound like a plan? That's what I think, Fran.
Well, if he's in a federal institution then BOP has all of that information on their site and because of that they will be quick to refer you to it. As for state prisons, there should be a site for the state or county that the prison is located in with similar rules and regulations. But I feel you if you've never been to visit then you won't know. The only other suggestion I can think of is to call the institution and/or to ask the inmate to find out as much informatin as possible from the authorities and then relay that same information to you.
Godspeed, stay strong.
TLL
i am a prison wife and i understand you completely i think the prison systen should let the husbands call home at least once a day and they should make visting a little easier my huband got out for two weeks and went back on a volation i can't even see him or talk to him until he gets out of reception and now i have to reapply to visit him when i was already approved 2 weeks ago it is so stressful it's like they want them to have nothing anf they try everything in their power to push families away
Here is a link to a page on a wonderful site... this is a link for resources for families of incarcerated people. I hope it helps... http://asentenceoftheirown.com/Resources%20-%20Orgs.html
hello,
let me see if i understand you correctly. you've never visited your husband before? all of the information you are requesting be mailed to you is most likely availiable on the DOC website for your state. visiting procedure, maps & directions, mail procedures, everything is usually listed on a website. i'm no fan of the system, but if they spent money mailing this type of information to families it would cost them a lot, which would in turn take away from the little they spend on inmate programs (educational & vocational). i think as a wife it is our responsibility to be active in making sure that we know all the info about our loved ones. no one is going to hand out freebies. it is up to us. now...of the "rights"....i would like to be notified if my beloved falls ill or is in need of medical treatment. things of that nature i believe they should inform families of. but general information, it is up to us to call, find out, and ask questions.
be blessed,
the prisoner's wife
http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com
I AM ONLY 29 YEARS OLD AND HAVE EXPERIENCED "THE PRISON VISIT" SO MANY TIMES FOR SO MANY FRIENDS/SIGNIFICANT OTHERS IT IS RIDICULOUS.WASHINGTONSTATE CORRECTIONAL INSTITUTION FOR WOMEN, THE SGT. GIVES AN ORIENTATION SPEECH TO THE "RECEIVING" POD, PART OF WHICH INFORMS YOU TO EXPECT TO BE RAPED BUT WARNING YOU NOT TO REPORT IT, BECAUSE ACCORDING TO HER (QUOTE) "BOTH PARTIES WILL GO TO THE HOLE BECAUSE WE DON'T LIKE RATS EITHER". IT DISGUSTS ME THE WAY PRISONERS ARE TREATED INSIDE THE GATES AND OUT AS WELL. A PERSON IS SENTENCED AS SOME SORT OF PUNISHMENT IN WHICH THEY ARE SUPPOSE TO LEARN FROM OR REFORM FROM, AND UPON RELEASE, THEY ARE TREATED AS CRIMINALS STILL,NEVER BEING ALLOWED TO CHANGE ACCORDING TO SOCIETY STANDARDS. ITS NO WONDER SO MANY ACT OUT THE WAY THEY DO.TREAT THEM LIKE AN ANIMAL, THEN CONDEMN THEM FOR BEING WHO YOU TAUGHT THEM TO BE? IS THAT RATIONAL? I ONCE WITNESSED IN COWLITZ COUNTY JAIL, AN ELDERLY WOMAN REQUIRING A WALKER AND A CATHEDER (JAILED FOR DEFENDING HERSELF AGAINST AN ABUSIVE MAN) WAS FORCED TO USE A MALE CATHEDER WHEN HER OWN PERSONAL ONE WAS IN HER PROPERTY AT THE FRONT OF THE BUILDING,A YOUNG HEROIN ADDICT FRESH OFF THE STREETS WAS PUT IN A GENERAL POPULATION TANK INSTEAD OF DETOX/MED TANK WHERE SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN, BECAUSE THE GAURDS FELT IT WAS MORE IMPORTANT TO USE THE MED TANK TO PUNISH SOMEONE FOR HAVING AN EXTRA T- SHIRT FROM LAUNDRY. A GIRL WHO HAD A CHARTED KNEE INJURY DUE TO RECENT SURGERY, WAS CLIMBING TO HER BUNK ONE NIGHT AND SLIPPED, BREAKING HER LEG AND WAS FORCED TO WAIT 5 DAYS FOR MEDICAL ATTENTION AFTER BEING TOLD THAT THE MORE SHE WHINED THE LONGER SHE WOULD WAIT.A WOMAN HAD A SEIZURE AND RATHER THAN EXAMINING HER OR CHECKING TESTS, THEY PUT HER ON A LIQUID DIET! THESE ARE ONLY A FEW STORIES THERE ARE MANY MORE..EVERYWHERE ITS HAPPENING. I ALONG WITH SEVERAL OTHER WOMEN WROTE LETTERS TO THE EDITOR OF THE DAILY NEWS BUT NO RESPONSE
I can truly relate to this journal. My boyfriend has been in Bayside for that past 3 months. The CO's can make things so difficult for us. I am so happy Raymond is leaving that prison on March 24, 2007. Raymond and Jimmy have two things in common. They were both at Bayside and now Raymond is scheduled to go to Logan Hall. I hope everything is well with you in Jimmy.
Thank you for sharing your story!
If you are interested in saving on calls from jail or prison, check out Cold Crib Communications.
Post a Comment